Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Strange rituals of the native Spricks: Blue plates

There's no trustworthy genetic test for a Sprick, since some of the Sprickiest Spricks are adopted. (We notice, however, that even the adopted ones seem to develop the Sprick monobrow, which has to be shaved into submission weekly. But we digress.) However, there IS a foolproof test that will tell a Sprick every time. Here it is: You can say to a Sprick suspect: "Tell me about...THE BLUE PLATES!" If he or she looks stricken and says, "Please! No! Don't make me take one!" you know he or she is a Sprick cousin! There isn't a Sprick cousin out there who doesn't know what I'm talking about! (And there isn't a non-Sprick who DOES!) The BLUE PLATES! You got them for Christmas when you wanted a Cat Stevens album! You lobbed baseballs at them in the kitchen when Mom wasn't looking! You used them for ashtrays in your college dorm in 1978! Aunt Alverna told you they were "worth a fortune"! You still have some, packed in a rectangular box and Styrofoam, down in your basement! Hang them up! Right now! The scrapblog editor found the rhinoceros and wolf motif blue plates shown above on the Web, and really is taken by that tender rhino-madonna-and-baby scene. The scrapblog editor has blue plates in her kitchen. So does Uncle Joe. Aunt Florence has a collection. And somewhere, tomorrow, a Sprick cousin will check e-Bay to see if blue plates are REALLY "worth a fortune." In th 1987 photo above, Aunt Emma, in a Sunday dress that complemented but did not overshadow the blue plates, guarded a wallfull of the priceless things at Ten Oaks. Every single one, you know, is WORTH A FORTUNE (in Sprick family memories).

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